Part of My Human Heart

Credit: via X, photog unknown

Exhausted after a lengthy day of early pediatric appointments, work, and the daily toil of managing a toddler on my own, I set out into the clusterfuck of the Southern California traffic we’re notorious for, eyes and GPS set to Pala Casino and Resort for another Lea Salonga concert. The drive was long but surprisingly peaceful down the 15, and a little life returned to my half-mast eyelids as the excitement of seeing my favorite singer began to build. Driving down the small winding road to the glimmering lights of reservation casinos set deep in the hills, I took the opportunity to blast my favorite concert performances on the radio that, for the past year, had been commandeered by my little backseat driver’s preferred Cocomelon chart toppers.

Like most American youngsters, my first exposure to the Filipina songbird was nothing more than a faceless musical voice backing the latest in Disney’s parade of 90s princesses, Princess Jasmine from Aladdin in 1992 (she would later also lend her singing voice to Mulan). Shortly after captivating the world from the heights of a gravity-defying enchanted rug, I watched as Lea reprised her role as Eponine in the 10^th anniversary of Les Misérables. Making an effective transition into a French street rat drowning in a cesspool of unrequited love, with her soiled face and ragged clothes it was no wonder my little teenaged lezzie heart went aflutter over her. Unfortunately, in those days the internet was still obscure at best, and keeping tabs on your latest heartthrob was not the simple Google search and clickbait link it is today, thus I lost my grasp on the vague awareness I had of her ongoing vocation.

But despite my ignorance of her professional developments, Lea continued her lustrous and what would soon be several decades long career (yes she is old enough to have a 46 year long career, but obnoxiously enough she looks 10 years younger than me). In reality, she is not that old, she simply began her career at the ripe old age of 7 in the Philippines in the production of The King and I. Admittedly I can’t do her CV justice in this small space, but she continued through many other roles from Annie to Fiddler on the Roof and the Sound of Music; she released her first album, Small Voice in 1981, and while building her vocal career, her theater career continued to flourish. At the top of her repertoire of productions, her most notable role was originating Kim in Miss Saigon. She landed the job at 17 and performed both in the West End and on Broadway, garnering Olivier and Tony awards respectively for it. Following the aforementioned stint in Les Miz as Eponine, she returned as Fantine to reaffirm her expertise in untimely deaths and prostitution and performed both on Broadway and in the 25^th anniversary special. Other noteworthy productions of her career were Cinderella, Flower Drum Song, Cats, Once on This Island, Sweeney Todd, and George Takei’s Allegiance. She has also graced TV and movie screens here and in the Philippines as a coach on The Voice, a devious mom in Pretty Little Liars: Original Sin, and in the Filipina cultural drama Yellow Rose, among many other credits. My crazy ex girlfriend told me she even got 3 and ¾ stars on Star Search once!

More recently she enjoyed a few more firsts in her career, playing a Filipina on stage for the first time in her role as Aurora Aquino in Here Lies Love, and, adding another feather to the overflowing plumage in her professional cap, she became a first-time producer for the show. She also wrapped a months-long run in the West End headlining alongside fellow Broadway queen Bernadette Peters in the Stephen Sondheim tribute show Old Friends. She performed at the White House under formal invitation from President Biden and performed with the Tabernacle Choir Christmas 2022.

After years of living under my cushy rock of oblivion, I rediscovered Lea on her post-pandemic tour in 2022 entitled Dream Again. I had serendipitously received an events calendar for the local performing arts center, one I had never been mailed before, with Lea gracing the cover. I toyed with the idea of attending. In a random comments thread on Reddit where the topic pinballed around Mulan, Ming-na Wen, and eventually Lea, I disclosed my thoughts of perhaps attending her concert and was met with resounding directive to purchase my ticket immediately. “You won’t regret it!” they said. Though the show was still a few months away, as I clicked into the site, I found only a handful of seats were left, and to the nosebleeds I went (literally, I had to take the stairs to get to the elevator that would take me to the top level; apparently the magic carpet was out of service that night). The houselights went down, the music surged, and a tiny little Lea emerged onto the distant stage and blew me away…either that or it was the lack of oxygen at that altitude…probably a nice mix of both, actually.

She returned to the same venue just a little over a year later, and wiser I was, I promptly secured my ticket several months in advance and landed in the second row just a few feet from center stage. With a much clearer view of a slightly taller Lea, the music was the same exceptional standard but the physical emotion of the performance is exactly why this woman is much more a theater star than just your typical singer. And here we are again, the third Lea show of the third year.

The Pala Casino was not a venue I’d seen before, and admittedly I still hold favor for the comfort of my easily accessible and more traditional concert venue Cerritos Performing Arts (If you're reading this Lea, hinty hint), but fuck it, it’s Lea live. And apparently this time she knew where she was too. Attendees were a wide array of concert goers, some superfans (yours truly), others with a prolonged interest in the talent that was about to grace the stage, and a few who had “just looked up who she was before we got here.” There was, as Nic put it, an ocean of Filipinos that had flooded the resort, and I soon learned that Filipinos are much like us Mexicans in that they run on their own standard time and many were still entering the center when Lea took the stage at 8:17. But seated and started, the show finally went on. The thing I enjoy about attending multiple concerts is the ever-rotating hits Lea tends to slip into the repertoire. Being mindful of attending the same venues in roughly a year’s time, she ensures you’ll never get the same show. I’d heard many hits on her CDs and longed to enjoy them live, and I was finally graced with one of my favorites, an opening of Feelin’ Good. She swayed into some heart stopping Sondheim, a few staples of more modern pop songs including Stitches by Shawn Mendes and handsome New York gay agent Josh Pultz’s favorite Britney’s Toxic. She gave tribute to her motherland with Anak and a moving encore of Nais Ko, and paid her typical homage to her 46 year career with a medley of the amazing hits that won her Tonys, Olivier awards, Disney legendhood, and global accolades. The show was also sprinkled with touching covers of John Lennon’s Imagine, the late great Whitney’s Greatest Love of All, and an emotional For Forever from Dear Evan Hansen that left her and our eyes glistening.

Lea is a rare and amazing singer in that her vocal range isn’t simply a measurement of octaves, but the range of style and tone that can bend to many genres of music. Her renditions and covers aren’t simply showtune versions of modern music, as many others end up slipping into when they attempt the same feat. This adaptability is the mark of a true talent, diverse, classically trained, extremely well-developed chords that fit the music. She’s one of the few talents I’ve heard who manages these transitions so seamlessly. But this isn’t the only reason I adore her.

Now for those of you who are new to my polyamorous celebrity obsessions, subjects of my admiration are lovingly dubbed wives, and they span various public forums from the arts, athletics, sciences, government, etc. They’re not simple crushes or attractions (though they’re all inarguably effing gorgeous), but they are icons, trailblazers, role models, and genuinely good people who contribute more to the world than a few good songs, a few world cup wins, or an enticing TV show. People who foster change.  

This is all encompassing of Lea on a few different fronts. As previously noted, she blazed many trails for aspiring Asian performers when she won her Tony for Miss Saigon in 1993 as the first Asian actress to snag the statue. She lent her voice to the first Asian Disney princess, opening doors of representation for young Asian girls the world over who had never seen themselves staring back at them from the movie or TV screen. She was the first Asian to play a traditionally white role when she stepped into Eponine’s shoes in Les Misérables and returned years later to fulfill another white role of Fantine alongside a sea of multicultural stars. Today she uses her star power to lift others up and pass the torch to the next generation coming up the path she forged. Now I’m not Asian, but as a person of color, I deeply appreciate the work that goes into creating a level playing field for any minority group, to ensure their stories are told, and to create and hold space for them, because opening the door for one story ensures others of different shades and skin colors will follow.

Another cause Lea has shouldered is her backing of the LGBT+ community (I am one of those, just in case the super gay blog didn’t give it away). It’s kind of a given that you have to be good with the gays to be in musical theater because we are quite literally everywhere, but public support of the community doesn’t come without its pitfalls. Coming from a predominantly and staunchly Christian country, the backlash still occasionally makes itself known on her social media posts when fans chide and criticize her for affirming rainbow warriors and their sinful lifestyles. Unphased, her unwavering support has become more personal this past year as she revealed that her AFAB kid, Nic Chien, whom she shares with Rob Chien is using non-binary pronouns and identifies as queer. She has described navigating the unchartered territory of parenting a queer child, continuing her education through Nic, and has worked to hold space for her kid to grow and live as their authentic self, setting an example and hopefully encouraging other parents to do the same.

As a side note, while I am a cis gay woman, as I’m nearing 40, I have felt a little more confidence in playing with my gender expression and the clothing I choose to present in. Now don’t get me wrong, I still love my dresses and heels and will go all femme for a night on the town with the girls, but I have also started dipping my toes into gender bending with a femme flavored suit and a tie or bow tie to top it. This was the selected outfit for this evening’s concert, and as I waited in line and arrived to my seat, I caught more than a few side eyes and blatant stare downs of my fit,  the glaringly gay woman attending a hot straight woman’s concert. Hit with the tiniest pang of self-consciousness, I grabbed a margarita and sat to await the start of the show, not necessarily hiding, but not trying to call attention either. Imagine the cocky little grin on my face when the hot straight woman sashayed onto the stage in a strikingly similar outfit, sans a tie with an added tapered tulle skirt, rocking the same flavor. At this moment I sat a little straighter. I mean I sat up, not straight, it was still a gay sit. Not that this was an intentional move of solidarity on her part, but unbeknownst to Lea, it certainly became one for me.

Other noteworthy movements have been years of rallying for reproductive rights for people with uteruses, world hunger, and numerous causes involving children. She is unafraid of speaking her mind. With cheeky and sometimes salty memes on Instagram or threads on X and Facebook, she will wag a finger at compatriots, colleagues, aspiring artists, audience members, and fans who misstep in one form or another, and she will dole out a sound verbal lashing to anyone who violates her boundaries (dressing room crashers take note).

Whatever her countless qualities, her talent, kindness, trailblazing, sass, advocacy and beauty, the woman has my admiration, my utmost respect, and my heart. And a shit ton of my money, but mostly my heart.

Thank you madam.